I Want to Believe: Christmas in Three Parts

 I Want to Believe: Christmas in Three Parts

Every year you hear people who say they wish we could capture that “Christmas feeling” all year round. I am not one of those people. Like a newborn refusing to latch to her mother’s breast, so is my relationship with ye olde Yuletide.

Now, I’m no Scrooge. The truth is I want to be swept by the spirit, tangled in tinsel, and a’glow with more inner light than a Christmas tree in a bay window.

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Notes on Love Days Before Marriage

Notes on Love Days Before Marriage

I met Jeff three years ago at the bar where he likes to work and where I liked to drink. I was new to my hometown having returned only to find the city I grew up in changed beyond my recognition. I’d left the beginning of a promising career in advertising in Dallas and found myself working in a fried food trailer across the street from the bar where Jeff works. That summer depression smelled like funnel cake and shots of whiskey.

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The Wedding Industrial Complex Hates You

The Wedding Industrial Complex Hates You

If you’ve overcome planning your wedding and have come out on the other side safely wed without a refinanced mortgage, good for you. If you’re deep in the tulle trenches, wrestling a budget, and battling your better judgement, then put down your afternoon glass of boxed wine and listen up: I’m here to help or at the very least, I’m open to commiserating. On second thought, screw advice; let’s bitch.

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Most Likely to Remain Single

Most Likely to Remain Single

The more I scrolled through an endless stream of wedding website templates, the more anxious I became and the more anxious I became, the less I could stop myself.

I pressed my finger firmly on the keyboard’s down arrow to view more smiling brides and grooms who all seemed to ask me, “What are you doing here?”

My mood dimmed and before I knew it I had set off down that lonely, all too familiar road to pay a visit to a girl I can’t seem to leave behind.

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Everything I Was Too Afraid to Say

Everything I Was Too Afraid to Say

“I’m okay. I’ll never be over it, but I’m better now. I was anorexic mostly. Bulimic, but only as a now and then treat for when I would binge because nothing helps you regain control of a shame spiral like choking on your fingers over a mostly clean toilet. Do you know if these shorts will stretch out much?”

It probably wasn’t what the sales associate in the J. Crew fitting room was expecting to hear, but she’d asked me how I was doing and I was feeling particularly generous. Not that it didn’t feel good to get it off my chest, but there are people and places better suited for listening to this kind of thing.

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How to Survive a Lost Weekend

How to Survive a Lost Weekend

1. Commit to taking a full shower. Standing over a sink of lukewarm water and scrubbing here (your crotch) and there (your armpits) with a crusty, old hand towel may be good enough to get you through the day, but face it, you’ve been festering since Friday. Despair is a stinky cologne.

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Are You My Mentor?

Are You My Mentor?

“Hi Meg. I found your information through Medium and checked out your online portfolio. Good work! I’m writing to you because I’m looking to become a copywriter myself, but getting my foot in the door seems to be kind of a mystery. If you’d be so kind, I would love to pick your brain about copywriting and the secret to your success.”

It was an email of a curious nature.

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Spring Break 1994

Spring Break 1994

There was no way we were going to spend Spring Break at the San Antonio Zoo again. No, I would not hang over the side of the lions’ den waiting for the fallen, flea-bitten king of the jungle to amble into view. Watch unkempt gorillas entertain visitors with a volley of their own shit? Not a chance. I may have only been eleven years old, but I was taking a stand.

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